June 20th: I submitted an application to open a Demat account with a private bank. From that time till date, I have been running from pillar to post like in a govt office... sometimes for providing additional proof of address, additional proof of identity (somehow I am facing this crisis for quite sometime now (read http://chetans-random-rubbish.blogspot.com/2009/08/case-of-forgotten-identity.html), duplicate signature, thumb-impression and impression of every other visible part of my body!
August 29th: Form status: "Under scrutiny/under processing".
Welcome to the internet era of banking where everything is at your finger tips except the elusive bank manager's mobile number!
What's surprising to see is that the branch manager gets the status of a CEO of an MNC. People get up and almost sing the bank's anthem when the branch manager makes her grand entry with a laptop, speaking on the cell phone pretending to be busy. She heads straight into her enclosed cabin and continues to discuss about her day's grocery needs while the rest of the staff thinks that she is discussing about the going-forward strategy of agro-related business of the bank!
One will also notice a govt-office-like-apathy where the customer is asked to wait until the manager finishes her (grocery-related) discussions.
Talk to the staff about lack of customer service and you will get a grin which makes you feel stupid. More irate customers are sent to model-like personal bankers - a strategy which works for 90% of the male customers. People will forget their problems (well, at least their banking problems, at least for a moment).
So, what makes a successful bank: Top-class marketing, glittering air-conditioned offices, hot-looking clerical staff, busy-looking manager... And customer-centric service? Oh Yes! the customer is at the center (butt) of all jokes!
Chetan's decision: Go back in time. Head back to nationalized banks. Rest assured that your money is safe with the Aunties and uncles of nationalized banks than with the "honeys and sweeties" of a private bank!
Disclaimer: No offence is meant and none should be taken. I have nothing against honeys and sweetys in general. Just that I don't like them playing with my hard-earned money :-(
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